The Heart of a Lover

     The heart of a lover is full of passion for that which stirs it. It is that of a worker, willing to serve. There is a quote that goes, “A lover will out work a worker any day.” A lover’s purpose is to gain the heart of that which has earned its own heart. I am lover of God. It is my desire to serve him, to worship and adore. There is an ache in my heart when I am not near enough to His presence. At times I feel myself so far away from Him and I don’t even realize it, though once I do I am more than grieved at the news. I am a weak lover, but He is so strong and compassionate that he calls me back and never stops loving my weakness. I go through season of raging passion for the one who was, and is, and is to come. And I go through times of ‘why do I love you again?’

     My love is so, so very weak. I feel I fail at loving him sometimes. But my love though weak it may be is so, very sincere. I am immature. I am growing; I am growing at loving Him and growing in love for Him. In my lack of maturity I might forget how compassionate the Lord is, that His love is unending. And in that moment I run away from His love. Running away only leaves a gaping hole in my heart till I find my way back to the arms of my Father. He sets me on His knee and asks, “Why did you run this time?” He gently chucks my chin adding, “You are the one whom I love, the one whom I sent my Son to die for. Do you not know by now I will never stop loving you, even in you weakness?” It has taken time but I finally, well when I say finally, got the grasp of 2 Corinthians 12:8-10. It is in my weakness I am made strong. So between me and Him, I establish that my love is weak and He establishes that He loves me anyway.

     I was made to love, by love, through love, for love and all because of love. It is and was the desire of my Fathers heart to create me. It was His pleasure to crush His Son for me to be able to approach Him. Jesus now sits at the right hand of the Father as the Great Intercessor because of His great love for me. First of all, how can I not love the hand that made me, the mouth that spoke the words of my existence? Secondly, how can my heart not belong to the beautiful man who gave His life up for mine, who sent His Holy Spirit to comfort me till His return? Just the very thought of this sets my insides churning in a way I didn’t know possible. It’s an ache, a longing that shall not be satisfied. Only He can fill it. And it will not be fully filled until I am with Him, where He is. This is called the joy of being lovesick. To be so in love it hurts, yet is a most pleasurable and light affliction, as Paul might say.

     This lovesickness creates in me a passion to be near the Lord at all times, to always be with Him in His presence. The only way I know to do that, and have yet to truly accomplish, is by constantly conversing with Him. Let your thoughts not stray for your heart will soon follow. Keeping your thoughts and mind focused on Him is, as Brother Lawrence would put it, “practicing the presence of God.” A lover wants to be nearest to their love at all times and when they are not it causes them real pain, it is the same with God. When you are not near to God something should feel wrong in your heart until you have once again drawn close to the lover of your soul. Remember it is you who ventures away from Him. God does not leave you, but rather you leave Him.

     The desire of a heart of a lover is to have the same burdens on your heart as that of your love. What bothers him bothers you. That, which weighs his heart, weighs yours too. When he finds beauty and joy so do you. The heart of a lover is always looking to share what is on the heart of their love. To know what is on the heart of God all goes back to having a continuous conversation with Him. He will share what is on His heart when you ask. If you aren’t talking to Him, how are you to ask? And if you aren’t asking how are you to know? It is my desire to share His burdens, not for me to share mine because if it’s bothering me than obviously I’m having an issue with the Lord that I shouldn’t be having in the first place. Everything, every burden and desire rests on the heart of God, which is why He assigns different burdens to different people, or sometimes gives you something to pray for during a certain season, which is very clever on His part. What more can be said on this matter?

     Lovers long to serve; it is in their heart to do so. Which brings us to the age old question, “Are you a Mary or a Martha?” There is only one right answer to that, no matter what you think. It is true that we are called to serve God, but He has servants, they’re called angels. He’s looking and longing for a lover, that’s why He created us. Who was really serving Jesus, Mary or Martha? Martha was going around doing her job as the woman of the house serving the food and wine. She was making sure everything was as it should be. Mary sat at His feet pouring out her heart as He lavished His love upon her. Martha was serving to be seen; Mary just wanted to touch His heart. It was Mary who was serving Him, not Martha. To serve God is to love Him; to love Him is to follow all His commands.

     How do we follow His commands? Easy, ask for grace and endurance to do it. But really it is not hard to obey God, sin gets in the way, thankfully however He is quick to forgive the repentant heart. When God calls you to do something He gives you the grace to do it. He calls us to obey Him, and if we love Him rightly it should be out joy to do so. I mean the Father sent His only son to earth to become a curse, dying on a tree for our transgressions. Jesus became that perfect sacrifice, it was His very day of gladness. They did that for our blackened hearts, our sinful nature; can we not love and obey? That should be the priority of our hearts as lovers of God.

     The heart of a lover is a complicated thing. It is so complex it cannot begin to be understood, fortunately for us we don’t have to understand it. We get to be the lover, longing for His return. We get to sit at His feet and love Him as He pours out love on us. It is my desire, the one thing I seek (Ps. 27:4) to live I the house of the Lord all days of my life. I just want to gaze at His indescribable, incomparable beauty. There is so, so much beauty but it’s never enough. I want to delight in presence as much as I want Him to enjoy me. My heart as a lover longs for His nearness and how it aches for Him, for His return. He is that one thing I desire. He sets my soul on fire. He brings me joy. Basking in His love makes me love Him more and more. The more of His presence I get the more I want. The heart of a lover is insatiable. You’re always left wanting more, more of God.  

     In the end it all about denying yourself, it’s doing anything and everything for love because love did everything for you. People always say, “Where are you I want more.” And He’s saying, “I’m where I always was. I gave you everything, run after me.” Isaiah 55:6- ‘Seek the Lord while He may be found. Call on Him while He is near.’ It’s all about the pursuit, the chase.  He’ll chase you down until you are His. He’ll never stop. But at the same time you must be pursuing Him. Your heart must desire Him if you are to be a lover.  Because, the heart of a lover is passionate not passive, it is violent not calm. The heart of a lover will do anything for love, anything to be near God. 

     The Lord, the good, good Shepherd and lover of your soul is calling. He says, “Come! Come away with me. Let us run together!” (Song of Songs 2:10) Run with Him. He’s called you by name. He’s placed you as a seal upon His heart. His love is unquenchable, as strong as death. His love conquered the grave. Go after Him the way He goes after you. His love is so deep, high, wide and long (Ephesians 3:16-19), and we can comprehend it. He gave it to us as a gift; we can tap into it. But only the heart of a lover, pursuing His love and longing for Him will reach it. He’s called us all to be lovers. Not lukewarm, but fiery and passionate. The heart of a lover goes after God with reckless abandon, there is no other way.  No other distraction can pull you away, only He can satisfy, but it’s never enough.  The heart of a lover is real, and is afraid to lose its zeal.

“Oh, Lord, do not let me grow faint or my heart become hardened”, is the cry of a lover.

     The heart of a lover is not neat and tidy. It’s a mess. I am messed up, ruined with love. Nothing can compare to love. A lover will not settle for less. In short, to be a lover you are a worker, a server. You are not your own, you belong to the one you gave your heart to and he will have his way with you. In this case it is the Lord. A lover does not resist but gives in easily because a love this great cannot be withstood. The heart of a lover cannot wait for His return and will cry out day and night for justice and mercy. A lover will be swayed by nothing other than love. All other things are counted as loss for the sake of knowing Him (Philippians 3:8). Love cannot be deterred, it cannot be put out. It cannot be undone. The heart of a lover is the greatest force ever known because it will literally move mountains. A lover is called by God. We are in this world but we are most definitely not of it. The heart of a lover is broken, fully dependent upon God because only He can save my soul.

   

 It is by grace. It is through faith. Thank you Lord for saving me, for fanning this flame within my soul; may it never flicker out.  Move my heart with what moves yours. I am yours, your bride; come claim me as your own. I’m your beauty. I live to serve you, to love you. This ache within my heart shall not leave me till the day of your return. I look forward to the day when you break forth in the sky riding on a white horse. You are coming for me! Thank you for opening my eyes to see, my ears to hear. Let me see your face, those eyes that burn like flames of fire. Let me here the thunder of your voice. Oh, great and terrible beauty, reveal yourself to me. I prepare the way; purify me. Make your home in me. Let me be your temple, your dwelling place. Thank you for the joy, for the glow. Thank you for loving me. Let me be found with a heart after you, I want to be found loving you. Holy Spirit take control. Oh Father, thank you for sending your Son. Thank you for the story of redemption, Jesus thank you for the cross. Your kingdom come, oh Lord, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Amen