“ 5Dark am I, yet lovely,
dark like the tents of Kedar,
like the tent curtains of Solomon.
Do not stare at me because I am dark,
because I am darkened by the sun.
6My mother’s sons were angry with me
and made me take care of the vineyards,
my own vineyard I have neglected. ” Song of Songs 1:5-6
I’ve always liked the phrase dark yet lovely, and been drawn to the verse, when I finally understood it that is, well when I say understand you know what I mean… I’m always trying to understand it.
Dark yet lovely has become that thing I need to hear to pull me up from the mire. It’s my special verse. It’s my reminder that God wants my weak yet sincere love. In fact, it assures me that He doesn’t look at the weak part of my love but the sincerity in my heart. He looks past my darkness to call me lovely. Now, as many times as I’ve quoted it or read through Song of Solomon I never really paid attention to how verse 5 and verse 6 follow after each other, kind of going hand in hand… And now I understand. Or I understand more why I am so drawn to this verse, and that is because of verse 6.
For so many years—half my life really—I’ve been tending to other people’s vineyards, caring for other people’s gardens. I have been so busy looking out for everyone else’s heart that I forgot my own. My own vineyard I have neglected, up until recently that is. I still find myself in other people’s gardens and locked outside my own at times but I’m getting better at that, I hope so anyway.
This past year has been me pulling out weeds, cleaning up and taking out the trash that’s accumulated itself in my garden. Though at the same time I’ve been growing… Now I hear the keeper of my vineyard say it’s time to plant seeds in my heart once again, for the time of singing has come. Those seeds will grow and turn into love. I’ll never stop growing, which is a very good thing. And one day when my garden is in full bloom its fragrance will spread, beckoning my beloved.
But I can’t do this on my own. Lord, I need you. I need you to cultivate me. I need your Son and your Reign. I need both the south wind and the north wind. Lord, simply I need your love. So I devote my heart to you. My garden is yours, come and delight in me. I know you took delight in my vineyard even when it was black and full of weeds, but how much more will you enjoy my love now that I am in love with you.
Thank you for calling me lovely while I was dark. Thank you that you see differently. Thank you for your mercy, and for showing me how to cultivate my garden. Thank you for planting the seed of love in my heart and for helping it to grow. Lord thank you for your patience with me. Most of all thank you for desiring my weak yet sincere love.
The sanctification process, its goes on and on.
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